Help save marriage from the secular therapists who call themselves “Marriage and Family Counselors.” These professionals, who generally have a master’s degree in psychology have a misleading license. You would think from their titles that they are specialists to help save a marriage, but when you find out what they are trained in, you see that it is in individual therapy.
Look at the coursework required for a Marriage and Family Counselor’s License. They take classes like “individual assessment,” “group dynamics” and “multicultural counseling.” These courses center on mental health challenges focusing on the individual. Marriage counseling courses, when offered, are an elective.
When they take that individual-orientation training and apply it to a married couple who says “help, save the marriage,” the model fails. Often, the first thing the therapist will do is send the parties to individual counseling to deal with their mental health issues.
This can often drive a feuding couple further apart. As separate counselors reinforce individual needs and desires over the joint needs of the relationship, the marriage disintegrates further.
So, what can you do if you want to save your marriage? You know you need professional intervention to help you communicate better and work through existing relationship problems.
Perhaps the best person to help you is your pastor. The clergy have a vested interest in preserving marriage as a sacrament. While many ministers will advise someone in an abusive situation to get out, their initial reaction is to help save marriage in general and yours in particular.
Pastoral counseling integrates psychological theory and biblical principles. The emotional and spiritual journey is seen as intertwined. If you attend a church or place of worship regularly, you can contact the office and ask for an appointment for pastoral counseling to help save the marriage. If you don’t attend a church already, you can look for pastoral counseling at a local church. Churches tend to have an outreach to the community mission, and most are open to providing services to all who ask.
Large churches, especially the so-called “megachurches” will have a special pastoral counseling staff. However, if you choose a smaller church, you will probably get attention from a senior pastor. In either case, when you really want to help save the marriage, turn to pastoral counseling rather than secular marriage counseling. Traditional individually oriented therapy, when turned to marriage counseling, focuses on “communication skills” and “problem-solving strategies.” Tackling marriage problems this way can stress the partners out more.
On the other hand, biblically-based counseling can help you solve your problems in the way God intended.
If you are saying, “help, save the marriage,” contact a pastor to get the real kind of marriage counseling you need.
